Tell us how you really feel, Dan!
Rejection sucks.
We’ve all been there. You work up the courage to finally ask that girl who is way out of your league out for drinks.
You practiced your lines over and over again, and maybe you’ve even chickened out a couple of times.
But your friends persuade you to go through with it, echoing the rallying cries of old such as, “What’s the worst she could say? No?”
Finally, you shoot your shot, and that flat “no, thank you” hits your heart like a thousand tiny needles being shot out of a high-powered rifle.
It’s a tale as old as time, but Arkansas fans had to deal with this kind of rejection on a new level, as their school is not-so-subtly recruiting the likes of Dan Mullen to be their next head coach.
And Mullen left little doubt as to what his answer would be if offered the job.
“Yeah, I’m good, thanks! Try asking the washed-up offensive coordinator down the hall instead!”
Yikes! Every Razorback fan is now being transported back in time to high school when they were rejected by their crush for senior prom.
Now, to be clear, this wasn’t a formal offer letter, and, of course, who knows what Mullen will say once a contract worth millions of dollars is placed in front of him.
But if I know Mullen, and I would like to think I do, after his four years as offensive coordinator and another four years as head coach in Gainesville, he’s likely perfectly content with staying out in Las Vegas, where the expectations are low, and the competition is a little friendlier than it is in the SEC.
The fan response to Mullen’s social media antics was predictably hilarious, though.
Boy, oh boy! Hogs fans are down BAD right now.
Take it from me, Razorback faithful, you would get tired of Dan Mullen pretty quickly.
He would win you eight or nine games a season and the offense would be a lot of fun to watch, but the minute the expectations went beyond being bowl eligible and finishing in the bottom half of the AP Poll, he would start to grate on you.
If we are making dating analogies, Dan Mullen is like the soft six you meet in a bar during last call.
She’s pretty hot at that moment, but then you realize the next morning she was wearing a ton of makeup and Spanx, in addition to her personality getting on your nerves.
Maybe that’s the best Arkansas can do, though.
Regardless, I think it’s safe to assume we won’t see Dan Mullen calling the Hogs anytime soon.
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