Here we GO! The Libs let us get to the final weekend of October (seriously), and we’re gonna make ’em pay for it.
While they were all focused on the NBA scandal, we quietly slid on by to another Friday, and through another week. And now?
Now, it’s over. Done. We won. We’ve got one week till Halloween. After that, Christmas gets shoved down our gullets for the next two months. I won’t let this next week go down without a fight. Let’s roll.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where ring girl Sydney Thomas pumps out costume content for those of you looking for any last-minute ideas before the big day.
What else? I’ve got the best of the rest from a big week of #content, Charles Barkley is the only person at ESPN with any balls (shocker, I know), and Trump firecracker Alina Habba has a message for the Libs who want to play grab-ass on her New Jersey streets.
Don’t try it, scumbags. You’ll see.
OK, grab you a slice of bologna for National Bologna Day, and settle in for a Friday ‘Cap!
Happy week before Halloween, let’s set the tone
Is there a more underrated, more underappreciated meat than bologna? The answer is no. Easily. People shit on bologna all the time, and it’s baffling to me.
I’d put a fried bologna sammy over any food in this country. I’m dead serious. It’s rare that you can find one anymore, but if you do, you’re in for quite a ride. Nice thick slice of bologna? Cheese? Buttery bun (hey now!). The best.
Mount Rushmore of deli meats? Sure! Why the hell not?
1. Bologna (see above)
2. Pepperoni (not sure it counts as a deli meat, but I can get it from my Publix deli, so it does in this class)
3. Turkey (gotta be sandwich-sliced though. If it’s too thin, I walk away)
4. Chicken (a little off the grid, but it’s way better than ham)
Roast beef and ham don’t make the cut, although I’d put a roast beef sandwich high up my list. On its own, though? Eh. Not for me.
OK, let’s get this class really going now. I’ve got a church harvest festival starting in a few hours and I hear they’re screening ‘Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown’ at 7. Can’t wait.
Here’s Bama fan, and famous ring girl Sydney Thomas helping us set the tone for a big Friday class:
What a week of #content!
Thanks, Sid! It’s not often we start with the main event right off the top, but Fridays are supposed to be fun and we’re having fun today.
So fellas, you’re welcome! If your First Lady is still racking her brain and stressing about what to wear next week, Sydney Thomas has you covered. Go get you one today before they sell out. These things are gonna go like HOT CAKES!
Welcome to class, Sid. Thanks for starting us off strong. Let’s get to the #content from a big week.
Naturally, the World Series bats leadoff!
Chuck, McAfee & Paige, oh my!
Well done! Everyone give themselves a round of applause and a pat on the back. Big week, and y’all delivered. Couple thoughts …
1. Alina Habba did the impossible and made Camden a safer place. Amazing. My uncle used to be the AD at Rutgers-Camden. Scary place. Not anymore!
2. The Clintons, acting like Donald Trump is defacing the White House, is beyond rich. Could you imagine scanning that place with a black light when Bill was in office?
3. Chauncey rocking a hoodie with LeBron’s agency (Klutch is owned by Rich Paul) on it? Total coincidence, I’m sure. Nothing to see there!
4. World Series Game 1 tonight. I can’t believe I have to root for the Blue Jays, but I simply don’t have it in me to root for the Dodgers. That being said, Trump should 100% take the bet with Carney. Feel like after the Ryder Cup, America needs a win on the world stage here. Big series.
OK, let’s rapid-fire this Friday class into a big night at the pumpkin patch. First up? The only – and I mean ONLY – person at ESPN yesterday who showed any backbone when it came to the whole NBA story was Charles Barkley.
That should surprise no one, by the way:
The guy on the left (Chuck) is an adult who lives in the real world. The one on the right (Shams) spent 60 seconds shilling for the NBA and going off into places Chuck didn’t bring up at all. Just hemming and hawing for a minute straight while refusing to just answer the easiest question of the day.
Did the NBA drop the ball here?
OF COURSE the NBA dropped the ball here! Anyone who isn’t in bed with the NBA and #ProtectingTheBrand can see that. The NBA knew about this. They “investigated” it. They cleared Terry Rozier.
Nobody at ESPN had the nuts to call them out yesterday except Chuck and Shaq. It was pathetic. Stephen A., being the idiot he is, blamed the whole thing on Trump. We went over that in yesterday’s class, so we won’t rehash it here.
And how about Kenny Smith? What an asinine take. Come on, dude. Get out of here with that nonsense.
Look at Chuck and Shaq’s face when he says that. They know he’s full of shit. Frankly, everyone at ESPN Thursday was …
Except Charles Barkley. And Shaq. But, mainly Charles.
He’s bigger than ESPN, which is why he can tell the truth. Same with Pat McAfee – who everybody in Bristol loves right now:
Some ESPNers are growing tired of McAfee’s public whining, sources say, which they view as juvenile, unprofessional and bad for business. If McAfee has an issue with his GameDay producers, they believe he should hammer it out with them in person; not publicly rip people who can’t go on TV to defend themselves.
Oh piss off, ESPNers. Typical keyboard warrior over there. They’re all pissy at McAfee for ripping the precious producers, who I’m sure are insufferable, and want him to “hammer it out in person,” but they’re going to Front Office Sports … anonymously? Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black.
Hey, “source,” why don’t you man up and go to McAfee yourself instead of running to FOS and bitching about him?
Also … bad for business? Yeah, OK. Sure thing, pal. He only has the most viral clip every single Saturday on your most-watched show. Idiot.
Ok, that’s it for today – and this week! Hate to end it with me bitching, so here’s Paige Spiranac inviting everyone to a group chat to take us into the weekend.
See you Monday!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Who we got in the World Series? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
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