Apparently, I have learned nothing from horror movies.
Let me start from the beginning.
A couple of weeks ago, my husband was a big ol’ ball of stress because of work, and he said, “Man, I could use a weekend away.”
Say no more.
Everyone who knows me knows I will take absolutely any opportunity possible to plan a trip. Just give me even one little inkling that you might want to travel, and I’ll have a whole itinerary mapped out with an AirBnB booked by sundown. So when my husband said he wanted a weekend to escape, that was my cue.
I booked us a Halloween camping trip.
Well, it’s a “glamping trip,” really. Our tent sits up on a platform with an actual queen-sized bed. There’s an outdoor shower and toilet, and the booking comes with all the items necessary to cook meals over the fire and brew hot coffee.
But there’s no electricity, and it’s going to be 35 degrees while we’re sleeping, so… it’s camping.
Plus, we’re going to be out in the middle of the woods on All Hallows Eve. Spooky!
I told my nail tech about these plans, and she’s genuinely concerned she might lose one of her favorite clients. But I told her, don’t worry: this is why I keep around my big, strong husband who is skilled with a firearm, and I have a scary-looking dog for backup.
Like this lady:
So, even though my friends and every horror movie I’ve ever watched, advise against sleeping in the woods on Halloween, I’m pretty excited about it.
I even bought a mini projector from Amazon so that we can watch some of said horror movies on the side of our tent. We’ll do a little hiking, grill steaks over the fire, sip some bourbon to stay warm. It’s going to be way cooler than passing out candy to the neighborhood demons, I’m sure of that.
I’m not telling you exactly where we are camping, just in case there are any axe murderers reading this. But I’ll give you the full rundown of our trip next week — assuming the Blair Witch doesn’t get me.
Ready for some Halloween-themed Nightcaps? Let’s roll.
Paris Hilton Pays Tribute To Britney Spears
One of the million things that make celebrities different from you and me is that they have the time, money and resources on their hands to put on a full Halloween costume photo shoot.
Case in point: Paris Hilton, who not only dressed up as Britney Spears for Halloween this year but also managed to replicate the entire “Oops, I Did It Again” music video set for the pictures.
It’s impressive, really.
Apparently (and I’m just finding this out), Paris dresses like Britney every year.
I actually really admire people who go all out for their Halloween costumes. Every year, I always tell myself I’m going to come up with something good — and then, inevitably, end up picking through last-minute leftovers at Party City on the way to an event.
Last year, I went to boss man Clay Travis’ Halloween party as a pumpkin. A PUMPKIN. That’s one step removed from throwing a sheet over your head and calling yourself a ghost or rocking a T-shirt that says “this is my costume.”
My husband went to that party as Billy Corgan, though, and we thought that was kind of funny. (Get it? Smashing Pumpkins…?)
No one got it.
So let’s check out some 2025 celebrity costumes that are way better than mine:
Also, I completely lied about never doing a Halloween photoshoot. A few years back, my friend Katie and I snuck out to a creepy, broken-down barn not far from my house, got wine buzzed and took spooky photos.
Here are some of my dog Lucy and me. We lost Lucy in January, and damn, I miss her. Coolest dog that ever dogged.
That barn was on private property, by the way. And it’s a good thing I didn’t get arrested, because imagine sitting in jail in that outfit.
It’s A Costume Brawl!
That’s one of the things that’s so inherently funny about Halloween.
You’re just minding your own business and here’s Michael Myers in front of you at Kroger buying paper towels. You look outside on the sidewalk and there’s a fully-grown man in an inflatable T-Rex suit trying to get their dog to poop. Or you pull up to a red light, look over, and there’s a vampire sitting in the next car.
It’s chaos, and I love it.
It’s also hilarious when people in costumes get into huge brawls. Like this one:
Kudos to TMZ for blurring that lady’s hiney. They always keep it so classy.
This video reminds me of the time I was sitting at Corner Pub in downtown Nashville during SantaCon around 2 a.m., and I watched a half a dozen dudes in stuffed red suits and fake beards get into a drunk fight on the stairs outside.
One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
Margot Robbie As …Patrick Bateman?
There’s a rumor circulating that Margot Robbie is being cast to play the lead in a gender-swapped remake of American Psycho. Yes, Margot would play Patrick Bateman, slash up poor unsuspecting souls and stuff their heads in her fridge.
And some of you sickos would probably let her.
Well, if you were looking forward to this cinematic masterpiece, I hate to be the bearer of bad news: but, apparently, this rumor is hogwash.
Probably for the best. No shade to Margot Robbie, but American Psycho (and Psycho, for that matter) are pretty close to perfect horror movies. I’m not sure they need to be re-done.
This rumor probably originated from a skit she did for Vogue a few years ago, where she re-enacted the opening sequence from American Psycho.
But it did get me thinking: how do we feel about gender-swapped movies? I know Lady Ghosbusters was pure garbage, but that doesn’t mean it could never be done, right?
For example, how do we feel about Sydney Sweeney as James Bond? Not a Bond girl… James Bond.
Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com and let me know.
One quick one from the mailbag…
Amanda N. Is Also Baffled By The Louvre Heist
Your Louvre heist rant had me rolling. I said the SAME THING! Thought you’d like this TikTok.
Amber:
I fear that video is AI, but it made me laugh, nonetheless. That’s something my grandpa would do.
That does give me a great idea for a last-minute costume, though — construction vest, crown and a stack full of Mardi Gras beads. Boom! You’re a Louvre thief.
Stuff I Liked
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
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