Happy final Hump Day of January. We wake up today in a world where Bill Belichick isn’t a Hall of Famer, and Shedeur Sanders is a Pro Bowler. Also, one where the insufferable congresswoman in Minnesota gets sprayed with … apple cider vinegar!
That one’s funny. I will accept that one. The others? Unacceptable on every single level. I don’t know what part of the simulation we’re in right now, but I want out. Now! Get me out of here and back to the real world.
Luckily, that’s what this class is for. It’s one of the few sane things left on this planet. It’s why we win awards. Let’s roll.
Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where NASCAR’s Natalie Decker enjoyed herself a polar plunge during last weekend’s winter storm. This is how you do #content correctly in the winter, boys and girls. Take notes.
What else? I’ve got more Belichick fallout, Jimmy Kimmel continues to be full of so much crap I don’t know how he can walk straight (whatever that means), and Rockies girl Gianna Girardi is ready for spring training.
You will be, too.
Grab you some of Sydney Sweeney’s new lingerie – get in line! – and settle in for a Final-Hump-Day-Of-January ‘Cap!
Marketing 101, baby
I know Amber hit on Sydney yesterday, but we also got a sarcastic email last week from a reader saying it had been far too long since we wrote about Sydney Sweeney, so I’m going to double down today.
Sorry, readers – you have to see MORE Sydney Sweeney in lingerie content. Don’t like it? CNN Presents: Trans In Women’s Sports 101 is right down the hall!
I did some Big J digging this morning, and took stock of how Sydney’s new lingerie company, Syrn, was fairing in the social media world.
When I saw this little venture teased by Sid earlier in the week, I checked out their Instagram page. It had 1 follower. That’s before Sydney soft-launched herself in a thong to the internet last night.
Now, 24 hours later? The account has nearly 150,000 followers, and is pumping out some of the most insane #content you’ll ever see.
Sydney Sweeney in a String You Along Thong? Sure! Why not?
Sydney in something called a Fantasy Bodysuit? You betcha!
How about Sydney modeling the Show Off Plunge Bra? Coming right up!
Nobody is more pissed today than Jimmy Johnson … for some reason
Marketing 101. It’s really this simple. Take a hot girl who is not insane (AKA not a LIB), put her in some lingerie, and sell it to the public.
Feel like that’s been the formula for decades now. Well, it WAS the formula. For some reason, we got away from that in this country, and the retail market went to shit. Just plummeted.
But then American Eagle brought Sydney in last year, and BAM – it was reborn. And that campaign was Sydney wearing BAGGY JEANS. Baggy jeans.
Imagine what this one is going to do! Clay said it’ll do a billion dollars. I don’t know what exactly that means, but I’m not going to argue it.
For those looking for some last-minute Valentine’s Day deals – Amber has a Womansplaining coming out this week on that, by the way, and I’d advise you to click – Syrn has some great prices!
- $22 for the hot line garter belt
- $89 for the Fantasy Lace Halter Bodysuit
- $89 for the bra.
That last one seems a bit steep if you ask me. Does Sydney come with the bra? No? Then I’m out on that one. But everything else? Get those orders in, STAT! You’re welcome.
OK, let’s leave this stuff in our carts for now (sad) and head back out into the real world, where Jimmy Johnson has been on an absolute CRUSADE today over Bill Belichick’s Hall of Fame snub.
ELITE stuff from the GOAT:
Natalie, Jimbo & it’s almost that time of year!
Including those three, Jimmy has fired off 11 tweets about Belichick since late last night. Just rapid-fire. Boom. Boom. Boom. This is a guy who posts, like, one original thing a week. But this Belichick nonsense has Jimmy FIRED up, and I don’t blame him.
What an embarrassment for the NFL and the committee. Truly embarrassing. I literally forgot Spygate existed until I started reading about why Bill was snubbed. That’s how insignificant that was in the grand scheme of the NFL. Nobody cares anymore. Nobody remembers, except Bill Polian, of course.
And I’m a DOLPHINS fan! I grew up hating Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Hating them. Until, of course, about 15 years into the dynasty, when I was just numb to it and actually started to admire it.
I’m also so sick of hearing people use the, “He’s mediocre without Tom Brady!” argument. Yeah, no shit. Every good coach is mediocre without a Hall of Fame quarterback, dummies.
- Andy Reid doesn’t sniff a Super Bowl without Mahomes, and, to a lesser extent, McNabb.
- There’s a reason Sean McVay traded for Matt Stafford.
- Mike Tomlin and Mike McCarthy have each won Super Bowls over their decades in this league. Big Ben and Aaron Rodgers.
- Harbaugh had Flacco.
- Sean Payton had Drew Brees.
- Pete Carroll had Russell Wilson before he became insufferable.
In fact, by my count, there have been two HCs since 2003 to win a Super Bowl without a Hall of Fame (or borderline HOF) QB: Doug Pederson with Nick Foles, and Jon Gruden with Brad Johnson. That’s it.
Now, let’s quickly watch some Brad Johnson highlights and end this day on a high note.
Incredible. I take it back! Put Brad Johnson in the Hall of Fame, along with Bill!
OK, quick rapid-fire on the way out. First up? Look who was back to gaslighting last night!
He’s just the worst. Such pandering. Such virtue-signaling. Fails, of course, to mention that the two “leaders” of Minnesota have been front and center in the “intentionally creating and encouraging violence” department. Right on cue, cries. Rinse, wash, repeat.
Imagine turning on a late-night show and the first thing you see is the “comedian” host sobbing. Weird that the ratings are in the tank!
So predictable. So exhausting.
You know what’s neither of those two things? Baseball! Season’s right around the corner, folks. Rockies girl Gianna Girardi – Joe’s niece! – is ready, too:
Don’t know why the algo put Gianna on my radar today, but I assume it’s because pitchers and catchers report in 13 days. Thirteen! Here’s your unofficial MLB calendar to end the day:
- 23 days till spring training starts.
- 36 days till the World Baseball Classic begins.
- 56 days till the first regular season game.
Who has it better than us? Nobody. Nobody at all.
Take us home, Natalie Decker!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Does Bill belong in the HOF, first ballot? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
Read the full article here
