The bride didn’t expect her mother-in-law’s toast to include bedroom advice.

This isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last time I say that people put way too much into weddings. The planning, the ceremony, the expectations are all too much.

Keep it simple and make sure you have fun. Not everything is going to go off perfectly and that’s fine. Head into it with a plan, but don’t get too wrapped up in it.

If a flower girl goes rogue, the wedding isn’t ruined. If a pole dancer sets up near your outdoor wedding and gives the groomsmen a show before the ceremony, all is not lost.

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Anything less than the groom disappearing during the ceremony and popping up months later in a relationship with your cousin should be considered a success.

That goes for touching wedding toasts by your mother-in-law that go slightly off the rails. It does happen, and it’s not the end of the world. She just wants you to be happy.

After a lovely ceremony and a few well-delivered toasts and speeches, the newlywed bride’s mother-in-law took a turn. Her toast left the bride “horrified.”

It doesn’t sound like the bride, to her credit, let the toast ruin her entire day, but she was caught off-guard by part of what her mother-in-law had to say. 

When the Champagne Kicks In Before the Mic Drop

She says her dad gave a “lovely silly” toast which was followed by great tributes delivered by the wedding party. Then the groom’s mom took her turn.

The mother-in-law mixed in the following during what was otherwise an appropriate wedding toast: “I wish you lots of sex, orgasms, sex and alcohol.” 

If only we were all on the receiving end of such a wedding day wish. I like how she tossed sex in there twice and balanced it out with orgasms and alcohol. That’s beautiful.

The line still haunts the bride’s memory of her wedding day, and she felt for those like her ring bearer and flower girl, who were 10 and 7-year-old siblings.

“This is honestly just who my [mother-in-law] is. She’s very comfortable talking about sex. But I truly thought she would know that there is a time and place for that kind of talk,” the bride explained of her one-of-a-kind wedding toast.

That was the time and the place. You just tied the knot and your loving mother-in-law wanted to make sure the two of you received a lovely wedding day wish. Mission accomplished.



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