Squeaky shoes are wildly embarrassing
Whenever I go shoe shopping, there are a few things I consider:
- Do I like the look of the shoes?
- Will they hold up under the rigors of my semi-frequent jaunts around the neighborhood?
- Will they be fast enough to get me out of a jam if I find myself having to run to catch a flight or escape the clutches of a maniac wielding a rusty machete?
What I don’t do is check to see how much they squeak, but I might need to start.
According to the BBC, Swiss athletic apparel company On is facing a class action lawsuit from customers here in the good ol’ US of A who are unhappy with the brand’s “CloudTec” sneakers. It’s not that they don’t look good or aren’t comfortable; it’s just that they squeak like crazy.
“No reasonable consumer would purchase Defendant’s shoes — or pay as much for them as they did — knowing each step creates an audible and noticeable squeak,” the suit claims.
Swiss athletic company On is facing a lawsuit from customers who think their sneakers are too squeaky. (Nina Westervelt/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
Now, I know we live in the age of seemingly frivolous lawsuits where Campbell’s Soup gets sued because a guy accidentally spills molten chicken noodle on his crotch… but I understand the customers’ frustration.
Having squeaky shoes is an underrated, embarrassing thing to have happened. It’s not quite as bad as having spinach stuck in your teeth, but it’s worse than forgetting to take a tag or a sticker off your clothes.
I’ve experienced it. I wear Crocs down to the neighborhood pool, and when I’m done getting my Herculean physique nice and tan and taking a dip in the pool, I walk home. But the pool water gets in my shoes and makes every step sound like it’s being taken by SpongeBob Squarepants.
It’s humiliating. Even more so than wearing Crocs in the first place.
Heck, this is such a well-known problem that it got the Curb Your Enthusiasm treatment.
The suit was filed earlier this month in a US District Court in Oregon — Nike’s backyard… hmmmm) — so we’ll see if any of the victims of incessant squeakiness get compensation.
Read the full article here
