Journalism at it’s absolute finest
It is the biggest story in sports right now.
Three separate WNBA games, three separate airborne bright green sex toys.
And yet only one man has been brave enough to interview the alleged mastermind.
That man? OutKick founder and soon-to-be award-winning Big J journalist Clay Travis.
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It’s kind of like that show Mindhunter about interviewing serial killers, except with someone who throws a fake dong on the floor at a WNBA game.
Clay’s first tweet announcing he had landed the interview of the century (or at least since Hawk Tuah Girl went public) let us know right off the bat the gold was incoming.
That symbol gives you chills. Like the Zodiac killer’s sign… but again, it’s a fake dong.
Now, it didn’t take long before we had our first shocking development: the man who was arrested and charged with throwing the sex toy in Atlanta — Delbert Carver — is not the one responsible for the biggest thing to hit the WNBA since Caitlin Clark.
“We think either he was clout-chasing or the police tricked him,” the anonymous thrower said. “We don’t really understand what happened there.”
So, was Carver just a patsy?
Hang on, kids. This goes deep…
(Sorry, poor choice of words.)
The mystery thrower revealed that the WNBA was the target for one very simple reason: it was the funniest place to throw a bright green sex toy.
I mean, they’re not wrong.
However, this week, there were attempts to commit more throwings, but for various reasons, only the thrower in Los Angeles was able to deliver the payload.
The mystery thrower revealed that they are part of a group attempting to continue with this green wang throwing campaign, and insisted that the intent is not to injure anyone. Instead, they just want to throw fake green penises on WNBA courts because, c’mon, that’s hilarious.
Even more, they’ve claimed that we have not seen the last of the green weens.
While no names were exchanged, the thrower did provide proof that they are who they said they are — the Robin Hood of throwing sex toys — to confirm that they truly know of what they speak.
They reiterated that they don’t believe they’re committing any crimes, with Clay telling them that if they needed lawyers, he would help them retain defense counsel.
Clay Travis is an elite journalist and a civil rights advocate when it comes to those facing trumped-up, fake dong-throwing-related crimes.
What a guy.
But the mystery thrower isn’t the only one who deserves justice.
So Columbia University (they award the Pulitzer; I had to look that up), maybe it’s time to do the right thing and redeem the former greatness of the Ivy League by giving Clay what he deserves — No! What is rightfully his — after this groundbreaking bit of journalistic legwork to get inside the mind of someone bringing joy to millions by smuggling sex toys into WNBA games and throwing them on the court.
Read the full article here
